I've exhausted my twenties in prison! Unable to be
around family or friends and forced to be with complete
strangers who never have my best interest at heart. I've become
guarded and cynical of people, my trust dissolves with
each year. Twenty-five years for Second degree murder was
my sentence, forever suspended in time. Imagine losing
everything that ever had meaning in your life; can't see your
own mother, and when you do, so much time has lapsed you
feel uncomfortable in her presence. Eight years have
passed, people have come and left in that small window of
time. Picture your life frozen. Can you see yourself stuck,
unable to move? At times the air gets thin, life lacks meaning
and even though the sun shines down on me, I can't always
feel it. I've become cold. I'm alive but dead to the
world.
Reading is my passion. I become the characters in novels
and dramas, living a life of fantasy because my reality eats
at my soul consuming my thoughts leaving me hollow. So I
escape through books. All I have is my mind, and if I lose my
creative thoughts then I'm lost.
To this day my mother hasn't got used to seeing
her son behind bars. The pain can't be placed in
words when my Mama cries because she misses her
son. I know its days when she's chocked up, throat full
of tears, but she fights back that which is normal. My
Mama misses her son and she wants to cry but remains
strong for me, so that I don't see her pain. Look
at the pain I've caused her and all she cares about is
me.
