I want to thank the BYM Religious Education Committee for the wonderful teaching opportunities I’ve had at BYM. Your invitation to work with Friends regarding the grief of losing Tom Fox and the issues of learning from his ministry made good use of me.

The [Wednesday] memorial [meeting] for Tom was time of deep learning and sadness. I am always suspicious of memorials without crying- but in time this memorial rose to the occasion. It was clear that Tom was deeply missed and his death by murder amidst ministry complicated the issue for many people. I felt a number of us elders holding the space with tender care. I know some did not attend as they were still in pain. Meanwhile, others who barely knew Tom had a chance to learn about his work and sacrifice. This memorial served multiple purposes well and was well planned and presented.

I had a chance to speak to many expressed needs in a Wednesday interest group. Friends are stunned at Tom’s death and the circumstances surrounding it. We are more accustomed to Quaker heroes in history especially if it involves suffering. This group expressed needs as various as- how do we teach this to kids, to stuck in anger, to what do we do next to continue his good work, to what are the facts surrounding his story. Though we only had an hour, I was able to touch on most concerns and relate them as all of a piece.

Later at the Religious Education Committee meeting, we discussed ways to teach about Tom and his work to children. There is some sense that keeping the story simple, surrounding it with reverence, knowing the chronological facts- would help make this an important piece for Quaker children to know.

I did 2 1/2 hours with the high school group in the early afternoon on Friday. I have a sense that this is the most healthy community of yearly meeting high school kids I’ve seen in 20 years of teaching at Yearly meetings. They know and take good care of one another. They are respectful of visitors from away such as myself. And they know deep seeking as individuals and as community. I taught energy work and massage which they paid good and clear attention to.

As usual with this age group there were many questions about personal body issues- injuries, body functions and changes with adolescents and relating to one another across gender lines. Though we were booked for 2 hours, we went a half hour over as things were cooking so well. They’ve also invited me to their September conference.

The Thursday night plenary panel on Tom was amazing. The house was packed and it went on for 2 hours- longer than should be asked of people- but Friends stayed and were attentive to the excellent presentation. Then a third of the crowd stayed on another 40 minutes for more content and participation. This again served for more understanding of this important Quaker story.

There was also some sense that more Friends were moving from grief to stages of understanding. I think the priority the yearly meeting gave to Tom was just right— not too much and not too little. Excellent planning and prioritizing. . . .

I got to 4 Produce Dept evenings with young Friends that week. I continue to think that this is one of the most healthy groups of teens I’ve seen at yearly meetings. How they have been worked with to develop this should continue and be an example.

Thanks again for having me over for the week. I enjoyed working with you all and hope the health of the yearly meeting continues is good hands.

Love, John.