I attended the Women’s retreat as a part of a family tradition. I went to my first retreat in 1997 at the invitation of my mother. It was her idea that since I was in high school, and had gotten my period, I was now a woman. She shared the excitement for my budding womanhood with her friend, whom she knew since before I was born, and had a daughter the same age as me. The four of us have gone to the women’s retreat as a foursome off and on for the past ten years. It was great for me to be with these women; for the first time reconnecting with them was my main goal.

I was not alone in my intention to reconnect during the retreat. As always, it was great for all who attended to be held in beloved community. Growing up Quaker, I value the intentionality with which Friends form community. It’s encouraging to see that there are places where people are accepted without judgment, held and supported, smiled at, and hugged with enthusiasm beyond Camp and Young Friends. The Women’s retreat is definitely such a place, and the connections are tangible.

Of course, people also came to dwell on the theme of the retreat. Lauri Perman gave a great plenary presentation on leadings in her life. For me, she validated my own value of the discernment process, and the idea that following leadings is the way to live your life. She also exemplified the struggle I have found it is to lead an intentional life. Personally, I was not able to invest my time with the topic because I am experiencing one of those struggles right now. Growing up Quaker, the only way I learned to make decisions was through discernment, and following leadings. In my twenties and almost four years out of college, I am now having trouble discerning my vocation without a loud enough calling.

It’s unfortunate I was not able to use the worship sharing groups more effectively. The queries were all focused on discerning leadings, paying attention to any gifts that might inform that process and how to integrate following leadings in our daily lives. On the other hand, I did take with me the idea that a daily spiritual practice will help me stay connected, supported and open to callings from the spirit. Of all of the workshops, I was lucky enough to attend the chanting workshop. It was a highlight for me, and it proves to be a great new way to center. I chant by myself or use traditional silence for a few minutes every day.

The only sad part of the retreat for me was its lack of diversity. At the closing, people were called to the front in various groups. The group of women under 40 contained about five people. It will be my personal mission to advertise the Women’s retreat next year to Young and Young Adult Friends. They deserve to experience women gathered in Spirit as much as older Friends and the retreats can only continue to exist if new younger women join the groups and eventually take on the responsibility of planning retreats. I may have to find scholarship, as the retreat costs $135. The only reason I can afford it is with financial contribution from my Mom. (Thanks!)

Alison Duncan