Bethesda

• Interchange, Spring 2007
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2006
• Interchange, Fall 2006
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2005
• Interchange, Summer 2006
• Interchange, Spring 2006
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2004
• Interchange, Spring 2005
   
• Interchange, September 2004
• FUM Policy Concern
• Interchange, May 2004
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2003
• Interchange, March 2004

Our Peace & Social Justice Committee will be hosting a worship-sharing session on what we can do to contribute to peace in Israel/Palestine on Sunday, March 4 at 12:30 pm at our Meeting House.

In polarized situations, what constructive role can Quakers contribute? How can we respond with compassion for the suffering on all sides of conflicts, resisting temptations to see things as good guys vs. bad guys, and trusting that responding with compassion to one side does not preclude or diminish compassion for the suffering on other sides? How do we create an environment in which we feel at ease in talking about issues we feel strongly about and that we may disagree on? We hope that this will be an opportunity to hear voices we don’t usually hear from or pay enough attention to. All are welcomed to attend with a brown-bag lunch. Please contact Jane Meleney Coe at (301) 320-5083 or bethesdafm@igc.org for more information.

This year again, our assessment of the Spiritual State of the Meeting leads us to acknowledge the strengths of the Meeting, to be reminded of its challenges, and to consider how we might more closely approach the Spiritual State we seek. Having sought individual assessments from all members and attenders, requested the views of the many committees of BFM, posed questions to the teachers of our children, held an after-Meeting forum on the Spiritual State of the Meeting, and having reflected on the views expressed in a prior Meeting for Business, we offer the following.

On most Sundays, for most members and attenders, the spiritual depth of Meeting for Worship meets clear needs. Speaking for many, one of us wrote “Our Meeting is a very special, precious place. For me it is a blessed encounter with silence, an opportunity to listen for guidance, sometimes for inner peace, or sometime meditate in a search for personal peace. There is a quiet healing in silence. It opens up room for love.” As others wrote, “It provides a weekly space to me to delve into my inner soul, seek truth and clarity, and also to feel the active presence of others doing the same.” “The Meeting is a refuge of calm…” And “We love our meeting and cannot imagine ever allowing ourselves to live far away from it.”

And virtually all of those conscious of their spiritual journeys testify that the Meeting has been near-essential. “Indeed, it has become a spiritual forum for my own spiritual queries.” “Frequently, I hear a comment or insight that is very helpful as I sort through my own internal meanderings. And the presence of the gathered meeting is very important to me, offering a supportive embrace I treasure and a space in which to refresh and renew my own energies.” “Finding the Society of Friends in the little preparative Bethesda Friends Meeting 37 years ago was life-changing… There were seasoned committed Friends from the beginning to instruct, educate and nourish me into understanding and spiritual focus.”

Yet several concerns are expressed about Meeting for Worship. The deepest concerns and those most commonly expressed are these: that many messages tread too quickly on the silence necessary to absorb and reflect on what has gone before; that some messages are rambling, long and unclear; that occasional messages are more political than spiritual; and that some are delivered in a tone not of searching but of certitude. Another concern is that during the first part of Meeting, too few of us speak in terms meaningful to the children then with us.

We seek to deal with each. Accordingly, the Meeting has concluded that we must find better ways of helping sometime attenders, and others, to better understand the integrity of silence and the nature of messages that are truly spirit-led. “However we do this,” as one member reminded us, “we need to realize that …conveying the spirit of vocal ministry needs our constant nurturing.” We have similarly concluded to offer channels other than Meeting for Worship for expressing our anguish over America’s current militancy and what might be done in response; we hope thereby to better serve both our worship and our peace testimony. And we are all reminded of the importance of messages that speak to the children while they are with us.

Do members and attenders experience Bethesda Friends Meeting as a caring community? Certainly those who allow the meeting to know their needs have so experienced it. Those for whom a wedding or a memorial meeting were prepared, for example, have especially made clear the extent of the care, concern and spiritual connection they felt. And for its part, the Pastoral Care Committee is “humbled as we see how bravely and wisely many go through enormous life changes. We struggle to give them the support they need…. We are also humbled by the limits to our own ability to help.” Many seeking only spiritual colleagueship find it as well, though only within limits. As a newer member has written, “I am quite pleased by the space BFM has created and welcomed me into.” But she then noted that many BFM members are more deeply involved in demanding occupations and competing concerns, and perhaps not as open to new relationships, as were members of her prior Meeting. Echoing that point, another member reported that “The Meeting often feels impersonal to me. It functions well and creates a spiritual space, but only a few people seem really friendly, willing to open themselves up to interpersonal exchanges.” It is feelings of this kind that have led the Advancement and Outreach Committee to experiment with a “getting to know you” table at each potluck. Others have proposed that since relationships are most likely to arise from common skills or interests, greater effort should be made to bring newer members and attenders into first day teaching, into the older women’s group, Spring Fling work or BFM committees matched to their interests. Our hope is that this will give newcomers a wider circle of colleagues and acquaintances in the Meeting, and at the same time bring new sources of energy to the Meeting’s work.

Probably the greatest challenge the Meeting faces is in making effective its Peace Testimony. While domestic needs for social justice are many and profound, the meeting can help meet some of them directly. Accordingly, it contributes a substantial portion of its budget to some 30 Quaker and non-Quaker organizations serving social needs, and many members individually support such entities, or work or volunteer with them. But we find making the Peace Testimony effective far harder, and a source of continuing concern. Our location makes it relatively easy for members and attenders to lobby the Congress or engage in national demonstrations. Even so, as members write, “We need to think harder, more creatively, and more often collectively about how to give effective voice and witness to our peace testimony,” We are “perhaps overly comfortable and don’t take the risks that our Quaker forebears experienced” one of the Meeting’s committees commented. And speaking for many, a member wrote that “I would deeply love to think of ways that we might become newly effective peacemakers or peace builders, and thus give renewed witness to our peace testimony. I search for such ways and feel frustrated at my inadequate imagination.”

To help in that search, the Peace and Social Justice committee will include FCNL’s legislative action alerts in the Meeting’s weekly bulletin. It will also serve as a resource for after-meeting discussions when political issues are raised during worship. And we recognize that, not only through efforts of the Meeting itself, but through the work of many of its members and attenders, and of organizations we help support, the chances for mutual understanding and more peaceable resolution of conflict are in fact being slowly advanced. Though we will continue to seek changes in our national political climate, we also know that many ways of peace-seeking do not depend on changes in national policy.

One of our members, having acknowledged the Meeting’s shortcomings, went on to describe its Spiritual strengths this way. “The last five years or so have given us many new young families, a great gift to our Meeting. They seek in their lives the spiritual roots and path they believe us to have. They give great energy to our Meeting, and allow us to believe we are indeed an alive and accepting community, and make us want to respond to their needs… That we do not yet answer everyone’s expectations gives us plenty to strive for. I think the spiritual state of the Meeting is lively and, while sometimes uneven, is rich and offers often meetings of transcendent depth. I am profoundly grateful for our Meeting.”

She spoke for many.

Bethesda Friendly Eights has become an increasingly well attended event at Bethesda in the last two years. In order to accommodate the busy schedules of our urban lives, we have two distinct programs: one for adults only and a mixed group with families. We now have two sign-up periods (September and January) for the standard round robin of eight, plus we encourage people to sign up for specific months when they know they cannot attend all six months of dinners. Our list of “alternates” has grown to fill in tables when there is an absence of a regular member. It is our hope that friendships arising from these dinners will naturally progress into small interest groups within our meeting.

Births: Aidan Hickley born July 30, 2006, to Susan Rich and Mark Hickey.

The spiritual state of Bethesda Friends Meeting arises out of the spiritual state of the individuals who are part of it. Many find a welcoming spiritual home here. Through the meeting we find guidance from the shared experience of the divine Light. Our spiritual state exists not only in our individual actions, but in our practices and interactions with each other. This report is based on written and verbal responses from individuals and committees to several queries from the Ministry and Worship Committee.

Our Worship Together

Many in our community are satisfied or pleased with their experience of meeting for worship. Individuals come for "the quiet and the messages, and to hear the whisper of God in my busy life." Or to feel "connected to others seeking a common truth, and caring."

We had an unusual number of memorial meetings in the past year. In a 5-month period of last winter and spring, there were 7 memorial services. In one case, the family was moved and comforted by writing the memorial minute to be read at the meeting. In others, the minute was written by members of our meeting. These memorials gave us rich glimpses into the spiritual nature and meaningful lives of those remembered. The Hospitality Committee gave exceptional support in providing food for each Memorial service that was held.

Yet, not everyone is fulfilled in our meeting. One long-time attender, who did not feel called to membership, had a strong opinion that our ways of doing things were not sufficiently grounded in Quaker history and tradition. We were disappointed that our efforts to respond to these concerns were not satisfactory. Another member overheard a remark that could be inhibiting, but is probably not uncommon, "When there are a lot of messages, I just try to tune them out." Messages expressing emotional needs could be disturbing to others' tranquility, but also raised our awareness and challenged us to be considerate and respectful.

One new attender said she found it hard to focus in meeting for worship on what she was "supposed to" (think about). Others agreed that it was hard to center; "your mind wanders," and is "running through lists of things (one) should have done." But we are "influenced by those who sit quietly," knowing we have a "place for self-examination, and working on the same human failings." We have "a context to examine the same things over and over." There is "a deeper thread" than what runs through our everyday job.

In response to our queries, another person comes back to meeting for worship precisely because it is a place of caring where he can evaluate his spiritual condition, and "I haven't straightened that out yet." A student said that it is hard to center at home alone; the meeting is better for centering because it is more “present.” Another said that "some profound spiritual experiences did not happen in meeting", but that on the way to meeting "I reach a sweet spot and enter into Light, warmth, and gentleness." One man feels a lot of pressure from our culture to embrace buying or be competitive or avoid dialogue, and feels that he tends to get lost, but in this place he can renew his frame of reference, and constantly find himself again.

Caring for Each Other

Our life together creates opportunities as well as a sense of obligation to join in shared activities: monthly potlucks, Friendly 8's, the sewing group, the older women's groups, preparations for the Christmas Pageant, and the Spring Fling for Ramallah Schools.

Informal relationships are also important. For many we are "a really wonderful mix of people" and "a strong and supportive faith community." The meeting can be "a caring and supportive community that is always there to help an individual or group that comes to the forefront as needing assistance." One responder described feeling "surrounded with love and concern" in a time of need, such as illness or a death in the family.

Our meeting united in its support of a member who was excluded from Baltimore Yearly Meeting activities involving youth, without having what we considered to be a proper Quaker process.

The Ministry and Worship Committee approved and made available to the meeting a pamphlet, “Advice Concerning Marriage under the Care of Bethesda Friends Meeting.”

Acting in the World

From our spiritual foundation, the meeting reaches out to the world around us in various ways, both locally and beyond. BFM helped house and support a family who were homeless due to the New Orleans flood, and eventually helped them move into a Friendly Gardens apartment. Many join in preparing and distributing Christmas food bags to all the households at Friendly Gardens Apartments. Students raise money to purchase books for the Martin Luther King Elementary School library and take part in a mini-walkathon for the homeless. The meeting began to offer the Lee Stern Peace Award at three local public high schools.

This past year's world events have had an impact on our meeting. Hurricane Katrina's destruction of the Gulf Coast was felt as a blow, and the federal government's poor response gave added distress. After another hurricane in Texas, it seemed difficult to garner enough aid for more distant disasters, such as an earthquake in Pakistan and flooding in Guatemala. In Iraq, the kidnapping of the Christian Peacemakers Team, the killing of Tom Fox and holding the others for 4 months, called forth many prayers, an on-line petition, interfaith gatherings, and vigils at Langley Hill Meeting. A growing concern about the genocide in Darfur has stimulated a call for action among us. Recently we held a faith sharing about the use of torture by our military.

BFM gave financial support to 19 Quaker and community organizations, and made special contributions to assist victims of the Asian tsunami and Hurricane Katrina. Through the Peace and Social Justice Committee, we provide encouragement and support to many individuals working on specific leadings and concerns. The vigil marking the anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War was particularly moving for those who participated.

First Day School

We continue to be strengthened and energized by the presence of our children and young people. The First Day School enrolled over 50 students during the past year, from preschool through high school. Each age group had two or more devoted teachers to guide them during the year. This year, an ad hoc committee developed guidelines and procedures to assure child safety when in the care of the meeting. Consideration of this concern encouraged us to reevaluate how to lovingly support and protect both the children and those who serve as teachers and caregivers.

Adult Religious Education

The many excellent offerings of the adult religious education committee have been very helpful in self-evaluation. The regular series on individual spiritual journeys has been important to many. "Hearing of others' spiritual progress or conditions makes me look at my own and ask myself questions, sometimes hard questions." Forums on Quaker practice and history were described as "wonderful sessions for those who hope to take the process (of spiritual progress) one step further."

The clerk of BYM Committee on Ministry and Pastoral Care has asked us: “Are we careful not to close the doors to newcomers and to each other? Are our minds and hearts open to all in love and understanding so we build trust and honesty with each other?” We are aware that we have not always been able to meet those expectations.

Some long-standing members and attenders have greatly reduced their attendance because of angry words or hurtful criticism by others. Some have felt a lack of cooperation or support. One person wrote: "There are people whose testimony I valued, who have left the meeting, or at least are staying away, due to differences either individual or philosophic with other members. What has driven these people away?” We were told that those attending meeting for worship may at times be insensitive to the needs of others. Some of us may need to "show more patience and understanding (with those who) delay seeking membership." It is noted that Ministry and Worship and Pastoral Care Committees made significant efforts to address some situations where people felt hurt.

One member has resigned because “…I’ve been disappointed by the lack of Christ, or perhaps better put, of his centrality in a Christian church… I’m not sure that’s what George Fox had in mind back then.” Another has been troubled by hearing dismissive or derogatory remarks about Christians and Christianity.

Some find it difficult to attend regularly because of complicated, busy lives. A member objected to our policy of having latecomers wait in the library until the children leave, expressing a feeling of being excluded. Was this literal closing of the doors consistent with our intention to be welcoming to all? Another thought this policy may appear to be "forcing people away, not being open and welcoming, and (saying to them) you don't measure up." Some express appreciation for the policy, as it allows time to center more fully. The Ministry and Worship Committee has tried to answer some of these concerns by arranging a circle of chairs in the library, to allow worship to begin there. In addition, an audio system was installed so that messages from the meeting room can be heard.

We were asked to note “the absence of a voice in Meeting for Worship about the outrageous actions of our countrymen and women (particularly about torture). ...What has happened to our outrage? We seem to have no vehicle, method, openness for addressing within the meeting the concern many feel.” Several questioned whether the meeting does enough to “help us evaluate our own spiritual progress or condition.” Another pointed out our perennially unresolved question about seemingly “political” messages: “How well have we struck the balance of acknowledging the outside world that impinges upon us, while maintaining a spiritual basis for the sharing that occurs in meeting for worship?”

Can we continue to discern actions that will shine light into dark places, and bring more peace and comfort to a world that seems in dire need of it? Will we better recognize and resolve conflicts that may arise within our meeting? Will we resist the temptation to stand in judgment of others? Will we strive to be sensitive to the needs and concerns of others, whether newcomers, regular attenders, or members? Will we work to understand and accept the many different faith traditions and ways of seeking the Truth among those who worship with us?

We continue to seek together for divine guidance.

Locating a Meeting in an urban/suburban neighborhood brings its own challenges. A short time ago when signs were posted on the streets surrounding our Meetinghouse, announcing new parking restrictions (only with a local residential permit), BFM was a bit nonplussed. Although we have been in this community for a very long time, this made us aware that we have never effectively reached out to the neighborhood. We recently invited our neighbors to a potluck, and are interested in other ways to continue to foster amicable ties. If Interchange readers have suggestions for good neighborhood relationships, please contact Andrei Kirilenko at kirilenkoandrei@yahoo.com.

Working with due Quaker haste, the "Oversight & Pastoral Care Committee" began seeking clarity on its name in 2003. In late 2005 we reached clearness and renamed the committee concerned with the care and support of Bethesda's members and attenders the "Pastoral Care Committee" (PCC).

PCC is re-establishing a support group active In our Meeting in the late 90s: "Transition, Loss, and Caring." This group, led by Elizabeth Conklin and Margaret Plank, will facilitate worship­sharing around the challenging changes we are finding in our lives around the issues of many different types of transitions, caring for loved ones, and loss.

Our spirit sings from the joy our children bring to our Meeting, the young ones squirming and rustling with us briefly at start of Meeting for Worship and then tripping off to classes, leaving us feeling both pride and momentary loss. Our older children keep their own counsel more, but occasionally let us share their accumulated wisdom. We owe the teachers at all levels our gratitude, yet we struggle to find additional volunteers to share their duties.

We take joy, too, as we strengthen our Meeting community with our committee work and from our joining together to help in the outside community, such as with Bethesda Help. We are thankful that our Meeting is able to make contributions to a broad variety of Quaker and non-Quaker causes. Our relative affluence in this respect is in part due to our relationship with the Sidwell Friends School that frees us from the expense and workload of financing and maintaining our own Meetinghouse.

We are glad to join at the national level with groups like the Friends Committee on National Legislation to speak truth to power as our delegations visit our Senators' and Representatives' offices to express our concern with the war our leaders have taken us into. As Friends, we know that there is no "good" war, and many of us find this war to be especially troubling. We can take no joy, but rather many of us feel dismay for our country's actions abroad.

We take special concern for what is happening in Palestine because of our special relationship with Quakers in Ramallah. We offer monetary support to Ramallah Friends School, the newly renovated Ramallah Friends Meetinghouse and the newly established Friends International Peace Center in Ramallah. Our members visiting the region offer more personal support. We must do all we can to strengthen the fragile attempts at peace between Israel and Palestine. Our support of activities in Africa and at Ramallah Friends School that happen to be sponsored by Friends United Meeting is in no way an endorsement of the FUM discriminatory personnel policies.

We seek to heal a situation at Baltimore Yearly Meeting that involves one of our active and beloved members. Action by an ad hoc group from Yearly Meeting has impaired his spiritual life and threatened his livelihood. We are asking what he needs to do to be reinstated.

We grieve over those beloved friends we have lost during the year. As always, we have gotten to know them still better from their Memorial Meetings, but six deaths in as many weeks since late February is a hard burden to bear.

We exult for those newcomers - adults, children and babies - we have gained through transfer, convincement, birth and graduation from junior membership.

Many of our members and attenders find joy in our Meeting for Worship as we wait upon the Spirit in expectant silence. Newcomers find comfort in our belief that God is available to everyone and in our not requiring acceptance of some specific creed for them to worship with us. Members of the Meeting have been making a strong effort to reach out to newcomers and involve them in the life of the Meeting; for instance, we have begun sending welcoming letters to those who sign our guestbook. Even so, some who visited us have told us later that we fell short of meeting their needs.

Our unprogrammed meetings satisfy our spiritual need, but vary from week to week, including some that are totally silent and a few others that drift towards philosophical debates or political harangues. We dream of a perfect meeting where no latecomers disturb us as we center down to a gathered meeting and where the messages are all clearly Spirit-driven, distinctly audible, and widely spaced enough for adequate contemplation after each. Our dream Meeting ends when all have satisfied their need for the light, with no one darting out before announcements. While we dream of perfection, we recognize our own imperfection, asking for love and tolerance for all of us still working toward that dreamed-of perfection.

We seek Vibrancy: growth, not stagnation; creativity, not routine sterility. We ask: to what extent do we exhibit energy, show spirit, seek the truth, feel awe?

We seek Depth: power, not triteness; vision, not narrowness. We ask: in what ways do we show patience, cope with paradox, display faithfulness, demonstrate unity?

We seek Generosity: trying to be welcoming, not suspicious; open, not hostile. We ask: to what extent do we act as stewards, create community, build respect?

We seek to embrace Vulnerability: trying to be confident, not defensive; growing, not stagnating; loving, not indifferent. We ask: in what ways do we learn, question, reveal, reach out, awaken?

We seek to be Centered: discerning, not presumptuous; connected, not incoherent; focused on sober truth, not frivolous notions. We ask: how well can we can listen, distinguish true notes from false, speak directly and with humility?

Lee Stern Peace Awards Ripple Effects

Judith Simmons' description at a BYM Peace & Social Concerns gathering at Sandy Spring in September of the Lee Stern Peace Awards that Sandy Spring has made to graduating high school students for a decade resonated deeply with folks at Bethesda Friends Meeting. We had been seeking a way to enlarge the expression of Quaker values (especially peace) in public and make more local people aware of Bethesda Friends Meeting. This seemed the perfect vehicle.

Joli McCathran, Sandy Spring's Secretary, facilitates communications with the schools. She advised us to ask the career guidance office in local high schools for names and addresses of contacts. Joli sent them a cover letter and scholarship award guidelines, asking them to nominate a student who had advanced the cause of peace, usually through the peer mediation program. Those named could site their nominations on their college application forms, perhaps a bigger benefit than the $100 which accompanies the award. In turn, the Meeting has an opportunity at the school spring awards ceremony to introduce peaceful approaches to conflict by reading the award certificate, which includes a brief biography of Lee Stern and his work with Fellowship of Reconciliation and the Alternatives to Violence Program. Sandy Spring presents the award in 10 high schools in Montgomery County, Maryland. A special fund-raising event produces the money each year.

Both Bethesda's Advancement & Outreach Committee and Peace & Social Justice Committee heartily endorsed the proposal which was then approved by Meeting for Business. Bethesda will make awards at three public high schools and is exploring additional possibilities with DC public schools and the AFSC/DC HIPP program. The meeting so enthusiastically supported the effort that the money was in hand without additional fundraising.

Committee members at a BYM Advancement & Outreach meeting in January asked Bethesda to share these ripple effects with other Meetings. For further information, contact Joli McCathran at office@sandypring.org (301-774-9792) or Jane Meleney Coe at bethesdafm@igc.org (301-320-5083)

Joli McCathran and Jane Meleney Coe

Our spring fling last May — a yard sale and picnic of Middle Eastern foods — raised a record amount for scholarships to Ramallah Friends School.

In another record for the Meeting, seven members are participating in the Spiritual Formation Program.

In mid-October, the First Day School plans once again to participate in a Mini-Walkathon around the neighborhood to raise awareness of the problem of homelessness and funds to benefit the Interfaith Housing Coalition.

As part of an ongoing effort to deepen our spiritual and community life, a series of forums on “Why We Do What We Do” continues to provide a means for newcomers and old-timers to jointly probe our practices, while our Ministry and Worship committee is exploring ways that we might use the BYM queries in new and meaningful ways. We’re also looking into updating/ improving our hearing assistance system and would like to hear the experiences of other Meetings.

Births: Alice & Lucy to Jeff & Liza Layne; Abby to Judy & Mike Sangillo; Tom to Thomas & Lily Conrad

BFM has learned of the FUM personnel policy which discriminates against applicants for staff and volunteer positions on the basis of sexual orientation or behavior. Our Meeting strongly disagrees with this policy because it fails to recognize the varieties of responsible, loving, spiritually enriching relationships that exist in our meetings and communities, and is counter to our belief that there is that of God in every person. We recognize that this policy does reflect beliefs strongly held by many in FUM leadership positions.

We support the initiatives being taken by BYM to open a dialogue and labor with others in FUM and on the General Board of FUM to seek together a way to transcend this conflict and to find a new way to respond to the concerns of all about this important issue.

Bethesda Friends Meeting Minute on FUM Personnel Policy, approved 18th of Seventh Month 2004

Deaths: Earl Harrison, 11/10/2003

Spiritual State of the Meeting Report - 2003

In this year of war and its aftermath that comes on the heels of two years of alarms about terrorism, we find ourselves eager for the solace of Meeting for Worship. We yearn for the refreshment of a deep living silence and Spirit-centered messages. We yearn for a caring community, where we know each other well, can rejoice together, and provide help when needed. Some of us find ourselves looking nostalgically to the past when Quakerism seemed stronger, when roles were clearer, when people had more time, and sharing seemed deeper. But we live in a present where our experience often falls short of our hopes. We are aware of gaps between what we profess and how we behave, and the tensions between how we carry ourselves into meeting and into the world. We are working to diminish these gaps, starting by admitting, to God and to ourselves, our responsibility for dealing with them.

In an effort to assess where we are and where we might be led, a series of before- Worship forums delved into questions of why we do what we do - for example why we have the committees we have, and how we welcome and encourage newcomers. We have probed our practice, seeking to know it better and, in so doing, to transform it into a more God-led way. We have sought a deeper understanding of Quaker language - of words such as "The Light", "ministry", "oversight" and "pastoral care," lest they become mere Quaker cliches.

In the past year, we have tried to deepen our understanding of Friends' beliefs and practice in our worship. We sought greater insight into how to discern the Spirit leading us to speak in meeting and how to hear messages with greater understanding and acceptance. The Ministry and Worship Committee has followed the Quaker tradition of eldering with quiet, gentle guidance in private. The Committee seeks to close Meeting for Worship with greater sensitivity to the Spirit rather than the clock, easing the transition from silent Friends' worship through announcements to a noisy, friendly coffee hour.

This year we celebrated three lives in memorial meetings: Evelyn Bryant, mother of Ralph Bryant and aunt of Marion Ballard; Dorothy Akins, mother of Ronald Akins; and Earl Harrison, a much valued member of the meeting. We celebrated the living as we saluted the 90th birthday of our member Jean Jones at an after-meeting potluck lunch. We have delighted in our children, who led us in music and song on several occasions, including our annual Christmas pageant. We continue to be grateful to those among us who lead the children in First Day School. Also, as in the past, we continue to grapple with techniques to smooth the exit of the children for First Day School and to welcome them back with minimum disruption to Meeting for Worship.

We have recognized the scarcity of Friends of color among us. A Listening Project involving more than 30 meeting members has sought to raise awareness of racism and to find ways to encourage and nurture diversity in our meeting community. We mean to practice being more welcoming, not only to strangers, but also to each other and to the holy Spirit.

We sense a stirring within us as a community to examine the openings that we believe always to be present, if only we will discern them and pick ourselves up -- lovingly -- and trusting in God, follow them. As we try to live up to our understanding of what Friends believe, we mean to listen more deeply within ourselves, to take spiritual risks, and to let ourselves be truly open, vulnerable, and instruments of God.

We lost a cherished member when Earl Harrison died in November. A memorial meeting to celebrate his life was held, under the joint care of Bethesda and Friends Meeting of Washington at FMW on December 6. At our January after-Meeting potluck, we rejoiced with member Jean Jones on her 90th birthday (which actually occurred in December), especially the ways she has responded to others' needs and her witnesses for peace and justice, including many peace marches.

Spurred both by the questions for this year's Spiritual State of the Meeting report and by a Listening Project on Racism and Diversity carried out by Jane Coe, several committees have been thinking about ways that we can be more welcoming — in general, by seeking out newcomers and longtime members we may not know very well, and in particular by extending a warm welcome to those of other races.