Patuxent

• Interchange, Fall 2008
• Interchange, Summer 2008
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2007
• Interchange, Spring 2008
• Interchange, Fall 2007
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2006
• Interchange, Spring 2007
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2005
• Interchange, Fall 2005
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2004
   
• FUM Policy Concern
• Interchange, March 2004
• Spiritual State of Our Meeting - 2003

Patuxent Friends hosted Chesapeake Quarterly Meeting at beautiful Ann Marie Gardens (www.annmariegarden.org) on 15 June 2008. During the afternoon program Shawn MacDonald spoke on "Living on the Edge while Drawing from the Center." She shared her personal journey as a Presbyterian minister and counselor, who is currently living with Patuxent Friends Meeting as a Sojourner. Guests were invited to stay for a follow-up discussion or take a walk in the garden, contemplating what “Meeting that of God while walking in the world” means to them. One visiting Friend commented that Patuxent’s gathering were some of the most intimate and spiritual quarterly meetings that he had attended.

Patuxent Friends joined with members of the Potomac River Association and many others from our community on 26 August 2008 to honor the memory of Erik Torvald Jansson. Eric passed away suddenly on 27 June as the result of injuries sustained while working on a roof at his home at Mulberry Fields. Erik and his family were among the first to join the newly formed Patuxent Friends worship group of the Religious Society of Friends. He remained a strong supporter of the group for the rest of his life. Erik was a private person who was committed to public advocacy. As a researcher for Friends of the Earth in the late 1970s, Erik was instrumental in motivating the EPA to act on the dangers of domestic herbicide use. Shortly after that, he founded the National Network to Prevent Birth Defects, collecting and disseminating scientific data on environmental causes of birth defects. That organization morphed into the Department of the Planet Earth in the 1990s, as Erik’s concerns expanded to global warming, toxics, genetically modified organisms, and the role of aluminum in Alzheimer’s disease. Eric also served for over ten years as the President of the Potomac River Association, which was founded by his parents. His life spoke well.

Friends had a rich and rewarding experience supporting the final week of the new Safe Nights of Calvert County program, a community-based initiative dedicated to providing temporary shelter to the homeless during the cold winter months. During the last week of March, Friends joined with two local churches to provide food and shelter from the cold. A nightly average of eight participants, men and women, from infant to 70 years of age benefited from the generosity of a diverse community partnership. Friends provided meals and other support in cooperation with other churches in our county. One lady's eyes welled with tears as she read a small placard that said "These cookies were baked for you by the children of Patuxent Friends Meeting." The lady picked out a brightly colored, worm-shaped cookie but wanted to save it, so she asked to take another to eat. Those of us who were organizing and serving were deeply touched. Unfortunately, the program is now over, and participants worried about where they would sleep in coming nights. Safe Nights will return for a longer period in the fall of 2008, beginning in November.

Friends enjoy the hospitality of Meeting, finding it a source of welcome and friendship. There is a sense of community in meeting, even with those who are no longer present. One Friend described the sensation of “being enfolded in the flow of warm, sticky, raw honey.” It reminded her of Dalo, “the Friendly spice of simplicity, equality, peace and environment.” Lack of child care during meetings and gatherings remains an issue for families with young children.

There is power in the silence of Meeting for Worship. Friends experience healing energy in the silence. One Friend says it “keeps me coming back, even when I’m physically and spiritually depleted. I’m nurtured in the space of silent waiting, where we can listen to our hearts instead of our heads.” Another noted that she “knows when I have something to say, because it bubbles up through my throat and escapes through my lips. I value the opportunity to speak from my heart rather than my head.”

The power of silence is also present in our Meetings for Worship with a Concern for Business. Average attendance was 19 Friends, slightly higher than average for Worship. One Friend remarked that, in trying to do the right things, “Our thoughts manifest themselves in the world.” There is a sense of shared responsibility, in which we work together to worship and conduct business that is greatly comforting. We don’t succumb to the rush to judgment. The Meeting seems to know when we need more time and resists pressure for a quick decision. We’ve learned to trust the process, even when we may come in with a personal agenda. We’re willing to let go.

Friends expressed concern about whether the pastoral function of the meeting is working as it should (or as we’d like it to work). Our fluid form of organization can be a challenge when people are in need of care. How do we make sure that someone is following up with a member in need? It is a continuing challenge to make First Day School a positive experience that includes children in the life of the meeting in a way that is good for both children and adults. It was gently suggested that we “be mindful of how we can be true to our own beliefs while being respectful of others, taking care to avoid perceived negative comments about other faith practices.”

We are mindful of the need to maintain the rich experience and meaning of Clearness Committees, as well as other Quaker processes. Since many of our seasoned Friends are no longer with us, there is a danger that Quaker process will become diluted and less meaningful. It’s important to have ongoing education regarding the purpose for doing the things we do. Friends also expressed their desire to participate in community service projects and hoped that members would bring needs to the attention of the meeting. Friends discussed the Quaker tradition of individuals with particular needs and/or interests taking the lead for the Meeting community to satisfy that need or interest. Other Friends may join in providing moral support, financial assistance or direct involvement as available and appropriate but aren’t generally expected to become part of a large committee-like initiative.

Friends look forward to the opportunity for a weekend retreat away from the meeting that would provide a much needed opportunity to share in worship, community meals, learning together, music and play. These experiences have contributed greatly to the strength of our Meeting in the past. As always, more adult religious education classes and/or discussion groups are longed for. At the same time, we continue to struggle with the conflicting demands in our lives that make more religious education activities difficult.

In closing, Patuxent Friends are fortunate to share in a spiritual home, rather than an organization. Our focus is on journey rather than rulebook. Meeting is available but not grasping; supportive without requiring we all share the same concerns. When one of us is being difficult, we realize that’s not all of who we are. We’re willing to listen and try to see that of God in one another.

What does the Bible have to say about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) people? Patuxent Friends recently participated in a discussion series entitled Opening the Bible for All People—A study of Texts of Inclusion, led by our current sojourner, Shawn MacDonald. This Bible study began with a focus on how we read the Bible and explored several ways of interpreting the Bible. We then took up the six texts in the Bible which are most often used against GLBT people. Then we looked at the texts, much more than six, which are affirmative of GLBT people, or their predecessors in the Ancient world.

Patuxent Friends recently held a Memorial Meeting for Josiah Ashton Kesler. Ash was a kind and loving man, remembered by friends and counseling clients as having “touched their souls”. He lived and worked in Southern Maryland for many years before his recent retirement and move to Richmond, Virginia to be close to family. Ash was an avid runner, who could often be seen jogging along the roadside with his beloved dog, Tar. He loved those places where land meets water and sky and often spent time walking along the Eastern Shore or the Outer Banks. He enjoyed working in the yard and garden and tending grapes. He greeted Friends and visitors to our little Quaker Meeting House with a hug, making a warm and friendly first impression that many of us carry in our hearts. In Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business, Ash was often the Friend who would ask for a moment of silence during difficult deliberations, reminding us that our connection with the Spirit and our love for each other was more important than anything else. Ash and his former wife, Diane, were members of Patuxent Friends Monthly Meeting for over 15 years. New Year’s Eve at their home was always a time of quiet joy, rich with spiritual connection. Ash helped many people find their way. He will be greatly missed and fondly remembered. His life spoke well.

Beginning Second Month and extending through Third Month, Friends have supported the new Safe Nights of Calvert County, a community initiative dedicated to providing temporary shelter to homeless people during the cold winter months. This is a volunteer-driven, faith-based program in which the shelters rotate between churches. Friends provided meals and other support in cooperation with other churches in our county.

Several significant happenings have enriched the life of Patuxent Friends community in recent months.

After a number of years in planning, Friends completed the first phase of our memorial/meditation garden on Meeting House property this summer. We gathered on hand-crafted benches around the spiral walk of the garden for Meeting for Worship for the first time on September 2nd. Many messages were shared, adding to the sense that another spiritual space for worship and reflection is now available to the meeting. One Friend recently noted that vocal ministry in Meeting for Worship has been rich in recent months.

We bid farewell to long time Friend, Ash Kesler, and welcomed a new sojourner into the annex apartment on Meeting House property. Way opened for Ash to retire from his counseling position and move to Richmond to be near family, and for Shawn McDonald to take his place in the sojourner apartment. The apartment barely went one night without having a peaceful presence there. We will miss Ash tremendously, and at the same time warmly welcome Shawn.

Friends have participated in the planning and organization for International Day of Peace activities scheduled for September 23rd in Prince Frederick. The theme of the celebration is “Weave Us Together” and is being sponsored by the Calvert Interfaith Council. This event is a clear demonstration of the remarkable transformation over recent years from the narrowly focused Calvert County Christian Clergy Council to the vibrant and inclusive Calvert Interfaith Counsel. The program will include a peace walk, prayers offered by different faith traditions including Muslim, Jew, Christian, Baha’i, and Hindu. There will be a "Weave Us Together" Peace Bracelet exchange, plenty of singing and, most importantly, community. White doves of peace will be released at the conclusion of the celebration to lift up our prayers for peace and carry them out into the community and world.

Friends have also been supportive of individual members who have felt a call to support international outreach activities. Two members have been active in support of the Hindu Vidyapeeth School and Peace Home in Nepal. One has also traveled to Africa and volunteered at a refugee camp in Ghana that houses thousands displaced by the long civil war in Liberia. Another member has partnered with other county agencies to send clothing and other resources to an orphanage in Monrovia, which also supports victims of the same civil war.

Patuxent Friends are grateful for the cohesion, dedication and caring nature of our Meeting. While the spiritual state of any Meeting is subjective and not easily characterized, the life of our Meeting speaks well of our condition.

Our Spirit is in evidence in the regular coming together of our loving community, the richness of our silence in Meeting for Worship, and the generosity of messages spoken out of the silence. As seekers, we trust one another enough to share our strengths, as well as our fears and our weaknesses. We support one another’s spiritual journeys and strive to recognize the Light in each other rather than focus on our frustrations.

Our positive spirit is apparent in the enthusiasm of informal fellowship following Meetings for Worship. We have to pry people away from their conversations to start business meeting or other activities. People often linger long after Meeting to talk. Delicious food appears regularly at our monthly potlucks, at business meetings and many other occasions. One Friend commented that “Meeting for Worship with a concern for business is what we do best after food”. Food certainly is another expression of our love.

Our spirit is expressed in our genuine interest and warm welcome of new attenders and our gentle encouragement for them to come back. We make easy connections and often remember individuals who have visited briefly, months and even years after their visits.

Our Meetings for Worship for Business are unusually well attended, with active and enthusiastic participation by all. There is the sense that everybody runs our Meeting. And everybody is invited to support our Clerk by participating as co-clerks of Meeting.

Some problems sorely try our endurance but, in the end, we recognize the potential value of conflict. We do trust the discernment process. We expect way to open and it invariably does. In looking back at issues we have struggled with, the discernment process has been miraculous and conflict has strengthened us as a group.

First Day School is consistently our biggest and most frustrating challenge. Many members can’t or do not choose to help with First Day School. This has the potential to be profoundly divisive. First Day School organizers have persistently presented the problem to us. Weary from laboring with this challenge, we laid down First Day School for several months this year. The children of Meeting were not happy when First Day School was temporarily discontinued. They let us know that Meeting is an important part of their lives and that they needed First Day School, sending the rest of us the very graphic message that First Day School needed more support. Our children are our most delightful Spirits, and we are once again investing our time and energy in this important activity in the life of our Meeting.

Adult Education is another challenge. Our members consistently express an interest in having more activities that would support individual spiritual growth. At the same time, efforts to provide adult education have not been well attended. We seem to want organized educational opportunities but do not have the time in our lives to take advantage of opportunities provided.

Last but not least is the depth of our commitment to the community beyond our Meeting: local, national and international. We have opened our meetinghouse doors to the community, making numerous connections. We have co-sponsored activities with many other faith groups. These connections have enriched the space of our meetinghouse and helped us to build a peaceful presence in our community. The silence of our meeting room is loud with the echoes of community.

Patuxent Friends started the New Year out with a focus on peace and community building in Southern Maryland. We continue to invite the larger community into our Meeting House for Meditations for Peace every first Wednesday of the month, just as we did in 2006. On January 26, forty people crowded into our Meeting House to hear Dr. Chintamani Yogi, esteemed spiritual leader from Nepal, give an informal talk and lead a discussion on how we develop the personal values that guide our lives. He is an inspirational speaker and encourages people to unite by honoring each other’s differences. It was a wonderful evening.

Patuxent Friends continue to support like-minded organizations in our community. Two members of our Meeting attend the Calvert Interfaith Council and are working with other worship groups to plan a Peace Walk on September 21 in observance of International Day of Peace. Our Meeting continues to support the Community Mediation Centers and offers our Meeting House as a safe place where mediations can routinely be held. At the Calvert Mediation Center’s recent grand opening celebration, doves of peace were released as a symbol of our commitment to resolving conflict in constructive ways. We also continue to support the local homeless shelter by providing both meals and monetary support. Some of our members are involved in planning and participating in the local Women of the World luncheon which will focus on global hunger and poverty this year. This event also provides an excellent network with many other mentoring and peace-building organizations in our community.

The spirit of peace seems to be gaining momentum in Southern Maryland. There is a growing awareness in the larger community for the need to work together with different faiths and organizations to build a more peaceful and just world. Patuxent Friends Meeting is committed to nurturing this peace movement.

“Tell Baltimore Yearly Meeting that we are healthy, strong, vibrant and cheerful”, suggested a Friend in one of two gatherings held to think together about how our Meeting enhances or might better support our individual spiritual journeys and improve on the productivity and good health of the Meeting as a whole.

Over the course of four years, following the purchase of our Meetinghouse in 2001, we mounted a major effort to transform a three-bedroom home into a Quaker Meetinghouse. In addition we created a comfortable space for First Day School and an apartment for a Sojourner/Caretaker/Friend in what was a dilapidated second building on the property. Over the last year we rested, appreciating the tranquility and the opportunity for rejuvenation. The reassuring presence of our Sojourner/Caretaker on the property is much appreciated. In addition his energy and skill in the improvement of the landscaping and general character of the property has allowed us to rest comfortably.

Prior to purchasing the Meetinghouse we were concerned that owning property would be a drain on our energies and resources such that we would be less able to give to one another and the larger community. Quite the opposite has happened. We find that we are doing so much more. In addition to our continuing efforts to strengthen community within the Meeting we are unusually active in the Southern Maryland community, drawing strength inward as we involve ourselves in a variety of non-profit organizations and initiatives -----peace activities, the local homeless shelter and mediation center, affordable housing, participation in the Interfaith Council, the Daughters of Abraham, visits to the local Islamic Center and sponsoring coffee houses to raise funds for non-profit groups.

A small knitting group meets weekly to knit into the silence (and share among the group) creating shawls to give comfort to others. Two members of Meeting went to the Gulf Coast following hurricane Katrina to assist those impacted by the hurricane. These members were buoyed by the prayers of the Meeting and supported financially, providing a way for all in our Meeting to give to those in the stricken area. Another member traveled to Africa with financial support from the Meeting to work with young people.

Numerous opportunities to work together strengthened our community and consequently the quality of our corporate worship, which was particularly meaningful over the year. The Meetinghouse offered a supportive environment rich with past positive experiences and feelings. Our individual spiritual journeys were enhanced by the inspiration and support of others. Our adult education committee organized and ran a Quakerism 101 course for an enthusiastic group of attendees. There was strong sentiment for more opportunities for learning and Spiritual inspiration. A minimum of one retreat a year with a follow up six months later and a Quakerism 102 course have been requested.

Recognizing the need for a greater exchange of Spirit with the broader Quaker community we asked ourselves how we might better achieve this goal. Inter-visitation, larger attendance at Quarterly and Yearly Meeting, guest speakers, attendance at Friends General Conference and participation in Pendle Hill programs were among the suggested possibilities.

Meeting for Worship with a concern for business continues to be a productive process of community discernment. It is often an experience involving fun and much laughter and is unusually well attended. Some Friends are drawn to attend business meeting even though they are unable to make it to Meeting for worship! Meeting has taken the first steps towards restructuring our approach to charitable giving. We have moved from a fairly hurried decision making process at the end of the year to a more thoughtful approach that affords more time throughout the year to gain greater clarity as to the potential impact of our giving. A charitable giving committee tasked to implement this goal was suggested.

Maintaining a First Day School as an important part of a small meeting stretches our resources. A core group of dedicated parents rose to this challenge, regularly creating a meaningful curriculum that excites and stimulates the children. It is a joyful experience for the children who regularly look forward to Meeting. We would like to find a way to encourage our children to share their thoughts during Meeting for Worship.

George Fox, as portrayed by Wes Stone, helped us host Quarterly Meeting in June, captivating everyone’s rapt attention as he discussed his travels and experiences.

Patuxent Friends look forward to the joyful continuation of our spiritual journey.

Concerned about the victims of Hurricane Katrina, Patuxent Friends have made contact with the Friends Meeting in New Orleans and offered our assistance. Some Friends have offered to host people who have been displaced. We also have the upstairs of the meetinghouse to open up to a displaced family. We await opportunities to help where we can.

One of our member social workers, Karen Horton, has completed special training to counsel those who have been traumatized by disaster.  She has now been called on short notice to travel to Baton Rouge to help hurricane victims.  Karen will bring her peaceful presence and counseling skills to the effort.  She doesn’t know what she will find or how long she will be there - things are very uncertain right now. We are holding her in the Light, concerned for her safety but grateful that she will bring a measure of peace and comfort to those who are suffering.

Several members of our Meeting have been active in a new community action group, Housing for All Calvert, and are working with the county commissioners to influence zoning regulations in favor of expanded low income and workforce housing. Friends recently approved a minute endorsing these efforts.

Our next coffeehouse, scheduled for October 9th, will be another joint venture with the UUs. We have again reserved space at the Southern Maryland Higher Education Center to accommodate a large turnout. A rich tapestry of American and Celtic performances will include folk, traditional and Irish music, poetry and Celtic dancing. All contributions will go to Community Mediation Center of Southern Maryland, which has grown into a successful community outreach under the sponsorship of Patuxent Friends.

Patuxent Friends examined Baltimore Yearly Meeting queries during two rich discussions concerning our Spiritual State of the Meeting. Several themes emerged:

• Building and strengthening Meeting community
• Welcoming newcomers
• Departure of long-time Friends and the importance of maintaining our association with the larger Quaker community
• Importance of group discernment
• Outreach and service

Patuxent Friends Meeting continues to build upon the strength of our Meeting community. An average of over 21 attended. We were blessed to have several guest speakers this year, as well as a series of breakfast discussions offered by Mel Endy on fundamental approaches to peace from early Quakerism to today. A growing number of children (five to seven) regularly attended and also had an active program. Several adult volunteers and a larger space helped to lend richness to our more organized First Day School program. A visitor reflected, "A meeting with so many youngsters is blessed. This place and the people who gather here know how to start a day!"

Friends work hard to build trust and honesty with each other. We consciously resist the urge to exert our wills and look for more gentle and Friendly ways to interact. We deal with difficult issues as a group and trust the Spirit in Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business. We try to understand each other's challenges and help, as we are able. We are mostly successful but we still struggle to be mindful of opportunities to support one another and create the ways and means to do it.

We recognize the importance of committee work. It transcends specific tasks- providing an opportunity to come together with common purpose and build community. However, we're often faced with things being easier said than done. With our few, busy members spread out over three counties, it's difficult for us to find the time to convene committees.

We are aware that newcomers may find it uncomfortable to blend in with a small, established worship group. We can help them get to know Friends one or two at a time, sharing background and finding common interests. We need to support each other in reaching out to visitors while being mindful not to overwhelm them. We are patient with those who are not familiar with Quaker customs, like speaking only once in Meeting for Worship. It's more important that people feel comfortable sharing messages in Meeting than that they follow perceived rules.

A few of our seasoned Friends have passed away or moved out of the area. We hope others feel called to step forward and help us maintain the Friendly foundation of our Meeting. We recognize the importance of attending Quarterly and Yearly Meetings to maintain our connections to the larger Quaker community. It is comforting to know that we also have Faith and Practice to refer to and BYM to call upon when help is needed.

Our Meeting continues to be active in numerous community-building activities. In the past year we have sponsored or supported: coffeehouse evenings to raise funds and awareness for local non-profit groups; the St. Mary's County Community Mediation Center; Southern Maryland Peace; connections to young college Friends; Project Echo, the local homeless shelter; AFSC; one young Friend's trip to Kenya to participate in Ufufuo; Patuxent Voices choral group which was founded by our own Cynthia Gonzalez; and several hundred dollars worth of holiday gift cards distributed by DSS. We spent as much on community projects in 2004 as we did on maintaining our own Meeting.

When difficult issues arise, group discernment is always more trustworthy and powerful than individual opinion. Friends need not take it upon themselves to counsel others on Quaker practice. This will likely be construed as "eldering" and may be stressful both to the person giving and the person receiving the attention. Such concerns may be more tenderly addressed through Ministry and Counsel Committee, whose members will labor with the issue and take action if appropriate.

As individuals, our most powerful contribution to Meeting and to each other is simply to welcome and love one-another. Each of us touches the larger community in some way. The web reaches out, seeding the community through our connections… letting our lives speak.

The following minute was approved by Meeting for Business on January 9, 2005.

Minute in Response to Friends United Meeting (FUM) Policies and Practices Regarding Gays and Lesbians

Patuxent Friends are deeply concerned about Friends United Meeting's newly discriminatory policies and practices with regard to those involved in same-sex relationships. As stated by FUM clerk Brent McKinney, in October 2003, FUM policy reads as following:

We recognize that there is diversity among us on issues of sexuality. For the purpose of our corporate life together, we affirm our traditional testimony that sexual intercourse should be confined to the bonds of marriage, which we understand to be between one man and one woman.

FUM clerk Brent McKinney then wrote that this FUM policy is to be applied to all staff and volunteer appointees of FUM. " We do confirm that leaders are chosen based on spiritual gifts without regard to sexual orientation; however we do not confirm that leaders are chosen without regard to whether they are in same gender relationship . . ." In sum: persons involved in same-sex relationships would not be appointed to any leadership positions within FUM as a corporate body.

Patuxent Meeting's core values speak to fair and equal treatment for all based upon the belief that there is "that of God in everyone". In an August, 2001 minute regarding support of the Maryland Anti-Discrimination Act, Patuxent Friends stated, in part:

Our society has an unfortunate history of judging one another according to age, gender, nationality, race, religion, disability, and more recently, sexual orientation. Discrimination should be easy for us to recognize because almost all of us have fallen into one of these categories sometime during our lives. Maybe we were told we were too old, too female, or too disabled to get a job. Or maybe we couldn't enter a restaurant because of the color of our skin or the name of our God… It's time for us to stop looking at one another as issues and start seeing one another as brothers and sisters. It's time for us to let go of intolerance and fear and offer one another the gift of acceptance and love."

We have labored with our response to current FUM policies for several months and held those with diverse views in the Light. As a meeting, we respect loving and dedicated relationships in same-sex couples. We welcome individuals in same-sex relationships to the full life of our meeting. We join with Baltimore Yearly Meeting's many clear statements on this matter.

We think that the context for the Biblical statements against homosexuality cited by FUM is disapproval of exploitation and simple pleasure-seeking, not disapproval of strong, loving relationships. In fact, Biblical statements taken out of context could lead Friends to such other positions as banning women from speaking in meeting and condoning wars made for the advantage of the 'chosen people.'

Patuxent Meeting has not been able to come to consensus on the matter of withholding funds from FUM. We have a concern that Baltimore Yearly Meeting asked only that its monthly meetings make it known if they wanted apportioned funds from their annual contributions withheld from FUM (and BYM reserved the decision on whether to honor those requests). This tended to focus discussion to finances.

Instead, we think BYM should ask ALL their meetings if they support or oppose FUM's current policy of discriminating against gay and lesbians in public leadership positions. If we can't support that policy, the discussion should focus on how BYM can best respond in a way that lovingly but firmly encourages FUM toward a change that more clearly recognizes that of God in every person.

In our creative brainstorming, Patuxent Friends came up with the following list of actions that might be considered in addition to withdrawal of funds:

• Withdraw the names of Quaker meetings who dissent from FUM policy from the list of meetings affiliated with FUM published in its magazine Quaker Life.
• Find out which yearly meetings associated with FUM support this discrimination policy and correspond with them. If any FUM-affiliated meetings oppose the FUM policy, correspond to encourage them.
• Visit the closest FUM meetings to discuss the issue and state our concerns
• Engage in further discussion about how BYM funds sent to FUM are spent. One creative spirit suggested sending MORE money, not less, to increase our influence in the FUM decisions
• Purchase ad space in FUM's magazine to state BYM's statements of non-discrimination against gays and lesbians. Ask readers to contact BYM for our entire minute on the issue.

Patuxent Friends shared a wonderful Christmas Eve Service with the Southern Maryland Unitarian-Universalist congregation. Friends offered our meetinghouse as a place for the service and joined the UUs in the warmth of fellowship, silent worship and music.

Young friends from St. Mary's College brought a concern for a local family to meeting. Friends bought and wrapped presents for a mother and five children. Our young college friends delivered the presents on Christmas, to the delight of the children who helped bring all the packages into the house. The mother expressed her thanks to meeting, saying, "It was the best Christmas we ever had." Meeting thanked our young college friends for bringing us this additional opportunity to reach out to our community.

Friendly Eight gatherings continue to be an important way for Friends to come together to share our spiritual perspectives. They help us to stay spiritually connected and grow individually and as a meeting, so we can then let our lives speak in the larger community.

Our most recent coffeehouse brought a multi-cultural group together in support of the East John Youth Center. Our meetinghouse was blessed with gospel music from two African American choirs. Friends raised $700 in support of the youth center, sponsored by St. John United Methodist Church, a largely African American parish in our community.

Our next coffeehouse, scheduled for March 13th, will be another joint venture with the UUs. The Chesapeake Yoga Center in Solomon's Island, Maryland has offered their space to accommodate a larger crowd. A rich tapestry of performances will include: yoga and tai chi set to music, a Muslim call to prayer, poetry, Appalachian folk music, gospel and traditional folk music. All contributions will go to Patuxent Habitat for Humanity, which serves both St. Mary's and Calvert Counties.

Spiritual State of the Meeting Report - 2003

This has been a year of spiritual evolution, as Patuxent Friends have had to deal with some very difficult issues. Death, separations, illnesses, and the challenges of maintaining our meetinghouse and tenant have deepened our respect and trust with each other. With true "waiting for the way to open," we have maintained our faith community and a clear sense of doing good in the world.

Usually an average of 22 people gathers for worship, with an occasional fourth Sunday potluck still enjoyed in Friends' homes. Meeting for Worship inspires personal positive change. Many Friends, but not all, feel that worship is so important and central because it is a quiet place to gather in comfort and safety. It provides a trusting circle, a love-filled component of our lives. For many, other than our families, this is our primary community.

Friends' reflections identified how the first 20 minutes of our sacred Worship is interrupted by a flow of latecomers and sundry commotion. Some people speak of difficulties in centering. A Quakerism 101 course, Friendly 8 gatherings, a Women's retreat, and breakfast discussions were offered to deepen our understanding of Quaker faith and practice.

Friends have felt that Meeting for Worship with a concern for Business has been an area of significant growth. With an average of 15 people in attendance, we responded to challenges, as one member states, "in a true Quaker fashion of love, consideration of others, and respect for the Quaker process." Friends have appreciated the Clerk's ability to enable Friends to focus on the worshipful aspects of the business meeting and to be sensitive to leadings of the spirit. Another Friends notes, "We seem to take seriously the leadings that achieve spoken form." We have arrived at unity on some very emotional and potentially divisive issues. Our meeting community has grown spiritually as we struggled with those issues. For this we are very thankful.

Providing a First Day School program has been an on-going challenge because of the diversity of ages, varied attendance patterns, and organizational challenges. We have centralized materials, created an attractive location, and developed team teaching. As we strengthen our ties to Meeting, our children learn it is a safe, central part of their lives as well.

A vibrant expression of our spirituality lies in the quality and diversity of our contributions to our broader community. Patuxent Friends did an incredible amount of work in the community and touched many lives, including our own. Through our coffeehouse evenings, we raised funds for four local non-profit agencies and highlighted the work they do to make our community a better place to live. We connected with the African-American community in a rousing night of gospel music at our of our coffeehouses. We held five Peace Vigils. We deepened our connection with the Southern Maryland Islamic Center and the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. We joined with the Unitarians for an inaugural Christmas eve event at the meetinghouse. Friends and Unitarians desire a continued relationship. Meeting continues to sponsor the St. Mary's County Community Mediation Center. Our outreach strengthens our connections within the Meeting, enriches our lives individually, and enhances our community.

Our spiritual state was captured in the following, "I am constantly rewarded by the love we feel for each other and our willingness to see and face our challenges with optimism."

We have 17 members and 7 associate members.